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London After Midnight News

Dealing with the Lying Obsessive Meth-heads in the Los Angeles Deathrock Scene"
by Sean Brennan

    In June of 1999 I decided to post the article below on the internet. The article was originally intended for the old LAM newsletter The Gashlycrumb, but in the end the full article was never printed. Instead a shorter version was published, a version that tried to diffuse the situation and left out some of the details included in the longer article listed below. I posted this longer article to the LAM website in recent years because the harassment from those involved continues and I often get asked questions about this situation and it's easier to refer someone to this page rather than explain the situation over and over.

    Recently [about 2001], the fact that I published this article and exposed the truth on the matter came to the attention of those involved - namely the old Ghastly magazine people (Jeremy Meza, Thin Man productions) and their friends (Melissa, a crazy ex-member of the now defunct band Fearcult who had also been involved with the Bats Day at Disneyland event, members of the bands Element/STG, Faith and the Muse, Daniel of the Astrovamps, some old crazy guy named Dave from a band called Frankenstein, etc). Since then, in addition to their ongoing campaign of lies directed at me and LAM, some of these people have actually threatened to kill me and a few have tried to assault me; attempting to physically attack me (all of which occurred in a public place, so many people witnessed the events including Joseph Brooks, well known promoter of the Los Angeles clubs Club Makeup and Coven 13- this occurred in about 2000). The death threats have also been reported to the Hollywood and Beverly Hills Police Departments and the Los Angeles District Attorney's office, so there is an official record of everything.

    I was tired of their lies, their harassment and their juvenile behavior, so this is why this article below was finally published. But it just made them angrier.

    For clarification- I don't know most of these people. They have been stalking me and/or making threats towards me repeatedly for years, trying to harm LAM's reputation (or at least mine). And it's also a current thing [NOTE: still ongoing to varying degrees in the year 2015]. So this is why I had to speak out. Again, this is all documented and common knowledge. It's all verifiable truth.

    Virtually any anti-LAM or "evil Sean Brennan" rumor you hear originated from these people I listed. I've done nothing wrong to them, most of them I don't even know personally. They are acting out to get attention, pretending to have a "drama" with me to either get attention or cover up for their mistakes and bad behavior. Or they are jealous, envious, or generally just negative "bullies" who like to cause drama and talk shit behind people's backs like children to make themselves feel better.

    Even though their lies and childish behavior are common knowledge they are desperate in their attempts to cover up or justify their outrageous acts of harassment against me. So they go to ever more extreme lengths to make their target (me) seem less than human and deserving of the hatred they have invented.

    This means that they create more lies to cover their earlier lies and mistakes and hide their inadequacies. They also resort to simple intimidation and threats of violence. For example, in about 2000 a member of the band STG were hosting an event at a Los Angles club (Coven 13). The lead member and DJ for the night began spouting how much he hated me on stage, trying to turn the club night into a Sean Brennan hate rally. He just stood on stage spouting off lies and nonsense. He was angry that I publicly pointed out his involvement in the harassment against me by posting this article. He and a girl named Melissa, formerly of Fearcult and Bats Day, had previously done their best to spread a rumor that "Sean Brennan kicked a pregnant girl down the stairs at club Helter Skelter". Of course that's completely untrue and OBVIOUSLY a made up story, but they spread that rumor for years just to try and paint me as some sort of inhuman monster. Melissa had been interested in dating me years prior to this after being introduced to me at a club, but I was not interested in her. So she got very angry, an anger that lasted decades. That is well documented and people from the 1996 era of LA clubs can verify this.

    They spread these lies to other people, who spread it to other people, etc, and eventually people just accept these crazy stories as reality because they never bothered to find out if they were true or are gullible enough to believe childish rumors.

    Their behavior can range from serious stalking and threats, slander and assault to petty juvenile harassment, bad mouthing and bullying online [which is continuing in full swing even now in 2015]; for example, they often harass acquaintances of mine they may see in public. One example of this was when I started dating a certain girl - in around 2000 these people saw her out in public and began harassing her, telling her countless lies like I had AIDS, I beat up woman, etc. They basically reduced her to tears with their attacks on me. Needless to say none of their lies are true, but you see how desperate they are to spread their hate propaganda against me, going so far as to target people I know (and for no reason other than their jealousy, because I've never done anything wrong to these people. In fact I've been very nice to them, the one's I've actually met).

    I hope you can understand the tremendous impact that these attacks can potentially have upon my life. This is bullying in the extreme. They have threatened to kill me, they have tried to kill my reputation with lies, they have tried to interfere with my personal life, they have tried to interfere in business matters with London After Midnight (like lying to European promoters about LAM in order to try and steal tours, as Faith and the Muse has done). They have tried to get anyone and everyone to hate LAM by spreading rumors and lies (proof exists, just ask for it). Just ask any of them about LAM or me, or see their constant attacks, lies and bullying that they still engage in online in 2015. They often make public comments on their Facebook pages or other online social media, though a lot of this has been toned down now that I have a more public presence with social media sites like Facebook, etc, and I am able to counter their lies.

    And they have been at this since 1992, until this very day [well into 2015]! And why, you ask? There is no reason. Again, I don't even know half these people and never did anything bad to anyone in my life - but this small group all know each other and all associated with Jeremy Meza, members of the band Element/STG, and are friends with a girl who was married to the founder of the Bats Day at Disneyland event, Melissa - all local Los Angeles substance abusers, drama queens, homophobes, racists, and people with mental problems and/or attention whores who frequent or frequented the Los Angeles goth scene.

    What can be expected from immature, spiteful brain damaged bullies with too much time on their hands? People so in need of attention they will attack me and LAM, or anyone who is a "known figure", just to make themselves look big to their equally dysfunctional friends. It's all so unbelievably juvenile that I'm embarrassed to acknowledge that they exist, but again, the rumors and harassment have gone too far.

    In some cases I have had to file restraining orders against certain individuals, I always have to defend myself professionally should someone have heard one of their lies, I have to question my safety should I go out in public, and I always deal with the constant maligning of my character. I'd say that if YOU, dear reader, had to deal with this shit you'd also be speaking out against it.

    The origin of this anti-LAM sentiment started in 1992 when LAM decided not to allow then 17 year old Jeremy Meza (then of Ghastly Magazine, later of the band Element, Faith and the Muse, DJ at club Release the Bats, Thin Man promotions in Long Beach, etc) to be a permanent live member of London After Midnight (LAM). Jeremy wanted to play guitar for LAM (he performed only two concerts with LAM, after which he was replaced by William Skye, who played with LAM on and off until 1998 when LAM's first guitar player, Eddie Hawkins, rejoined). Jeremy Meza was NOT an accomplished guitar player; he was very young and immature and couldn't focus on practicing his craft, or much else. From what we were told by a family member he was also taking meth, which wouldn't be tolerated in LAM. So when asked to practice more and be more responsible he said he didn't need to, and began acting more abrasively and irresponsibly. As a result he was asked to leave LAM's live line up. It's that simple. And that was the beginning of all of this. Again, this was 1992.

    Jeremy was very upset over his dismissal from LAM even though we had valid reasons to deny him the guitar position. After this, due to Ghastly magazine's sagging sales (as verified by our then drummer Douglas Call, spouse of Jeremy's sister) and because Jeremy was angry at LAM, Jeremy and his (now ex) girlfriend Tara Bai decided to generate attention for Nosferatu Productions/Ghastly magazine by attacking a well known band- London After Midnight via their magazine.

    So this all started due to Jeremy's greed, ego and jealousy. Jeremy's ego was bruised because LAM wouldn't allow him to be a permanent live member of LAM because he abused drugs, he was lazy, and he couldn't play guitar well.

    To show you what hypocrites these people are, in 1999, after years of continual abuse, lies, general immature "shit talking", seriously criminal slander, and physical threats, the people involved (Jeremy Meza, William Faith and members of the band Element) claimed to be somehow related to LAM in their advertising for their 1999 tour for the band Element (which Jeremy was part of). In an effort to draw attention to themselves they claimed to be an "LAM side project" (a quote direct from one of their flyers), "members of" and "ex-members of LAM", knowing that LAM was a known and respected name, despite their constant lies and abuse. Hypocrites. For the record Element was in no way associated with LAM. It's funny, that for so long they've claimed LAM was worthless, they've lied about me repeatedly, their friends have actually threatened to kill me and physically attacked me, but then they use my name and band in an effort to help their own bands gain an audience and gain credibility and earn money... hypocrisy defined.

    I really can't begin to explain the level and extent of grassroots hate campaigning these people have waged [and are still waging in 2015]. Suffice it to say that proof exists of everything, and all you have to do is wander into any LA goth club and mention my name and then listen to the lies people start reciting; Sean kicks pregnant girls down the stairs of nightclubs (a rumor publicly acknowledged to have been started by Shane from Element and the Bats Day/Fearcult girl Melissa), "Sean is a drug addict", Sean isn't really vegan, Sean rapes girls, Sean doesn't write his music, Sean kills people, etc, etc, etc. None of which are true, obviously, but needless to say this interferes with my life to some degree.

    Here's a summery of the origins of this childish drama... (forgive me as I wander into the 3rd person).

    In approximately 1991 Ron Hexe formed Ghastly magazine/Nosferatu Productions with his wife Tara (Bai) Cormier. They were fans of London After Midnight (LAM) living in northern California working as janitors. After corresponding by mail with Sean and telling them of their desire to move to Los Angeles, Sean Brennan of LAM helped them to relocate to Los Angeles in an effort to get things rolling with their new magazine and mail order business, Nosferatu Productions (they planned to sell magazines, tapes and CDs, shirts and assorted Goth-related merchandise).

    Sean obtained for Ron and Tara a post office box, a business phone number, and helped find them an apartment (and move them in to that apartment). Sean also spent hundreds of dollars of his own money promoting the upcoming first issue of Ghastly Magazine and shared the LAM mailing list with them (Sean was never paid back, nor did he expect to be at the time- he was helping out people who he thought were new friends).

    Sean also got both Ron and Tara decent paying jobs at the company where Sean worked at the time, and life was looking up for the Goth community in LA. Then, about 6 months after arriving in LA, Tara (27 years old) decided to betray Ron, her husband of 5 years, and have an affair with a 17 year old guitar playing roadie who performed with LAM for two concerts in 1992 named Jeremy Meza. (Sean also got Jeremy a job at his place of employment, along with several of Jeremy's friends and even members of Jeremy's family). After Ron discovered this affair, he divorced Tara and moved away, leaving Ghastly/Nosferatu productions in the hands of Tara and her new boyfriend Jeremy.

    In 1992, after only about two concerts with LAM, Jeremy Meza (now the co-editor of Ghastly magazine) was replaced in the live line up of LAM because Jeremy refused to practice his guitar, refused to stay away from drugs and refused to act like an adult. Granted, he was 17 so we couldn't expect much from him, so we parted ways, I hoped amicably. But Jeremy, being an immature kid with a huge ego and crazy enablers like Tara, got very angry. (Note: Jeremy was never considered a permanent member of the live band, nor did he contribute anything to the band creatively or in any other capacity- he simply played two concerts and was a roadie for LAM's ex-drummer for a short time. A funny side note- during his two performances with LAM Jeremy fell off the stage at one concert and dropped his guitar in the middle of a song during another concert- all caught on video).

    In early 1993, Jeremy and Tara Bai (editor of Ghastly), angered over Jeremy not being accepted into LAM as a permanent live member, printed a reader's poll in their magazine Ghastly where they asked if Jeremy should be given credit for playing on the recordings of LAM's "Selected Scenes from the End of the World". In reality, Jeremy did NOT play on the final recordings. They printed this question as an attempt to get attention and to take credit for things that they did not do in order to establish credibility for themselves because their business (Ghastly magazine/Nosferatu Productions) was failing and nearing bankruptcy without the direction and leadership of Ron Hexe (again, a fact confirmed by our then drummer Douglas Call who is married to Jeremy's sister).

    They also did this out of bitterness, because Jeremy WANTED to be a member of LAM but his lack of skill as a guitarist, his continuing drug use, lack of maturity, and lack of professionalism led us to the decision to look elsewhere.

    At the same time, Jeremy's high school age friends, Praise of Folly (a band that has since broken up), were being taken to court for their unprovoked death threats towards Sean Brennan and phone harassment of LAM (via LAM's public voice mail number that was active in the 1990s). Praise of Folly called LAM's phone line with racist and homophobic comments, death threats and general harassment for 1.5 years, up to 5 nights a week, up to 10 times per night, until they were caught by police and the phone company (the prosecution of Praise of Folly took so long because the phone company had to set a "trap" or "trace" on the number, and since it was a voice mail number that a computer answered rather than a normal phone line, it was very difficult to establish the case within the legal parameters set by the courts). All of this is documented in the records of the Hollywood and Beverly Hills Police Departments and Los Angeles District Attorney's office - and there are about 10 hours of their phone calls on tape.

    So- In response to the Ghastly poll, in 1993 in the first issue of the LAM newsletter the Gashlycrumb, LAM and staff responded to the misleading statements in the Ghastly magazine reader's poll (about Jeremy supposedly playing guitar on "Selected Scenes...") and also wrote about the Praise of Folly phone harassment incident (this was written about in hopes that the exposure, along with the pending legal action against them, would curb Praise of Folly's ongoing obsessive phone calls). In the Gashlycrumb, LAM made it clear that Sean played all final studio guitar tracks on "Selected Scenes..." and did not understand why Ghastly had lied in their reader's poll. LAM also publicly asked Praise of Folly to grow up and stop spending their time on drugs making prank phone calls to LAM (Praise of Folly were well known meth addicts. And they were Jeremy's friends).

    A few months later Ghastly and Praise of Folly, along with William Faith (of Faith and the Muse) retaliated with even MORE lies and slander with a fiction filled 8 page magazine published under the Ghastly magazine banner called the "Ghastly Crumb" (the title was a take-off on LAM's newsletter The Gashlycrumb). The "Ghastly Crumb" contained nothing but lies and slander against Sean Brennan and LAMs. The lies ranged from theft to false claims of rape, accusations that Sean wasn't really a vegetarian, didn't write his own songs, and more.

    Jeremy and Tara, along with William Faith of Faith and the Muse, showed up at one of LAM's concerts in Hollywood and passed out hundreds of these lie filled magazines to the crowd of LAM fans in attendance. They also sent them to all the people on the mailing list that Sean gave to Ghastly magazine when they first located to Los Angeles.

    They made up these lies to promote themselves and try to undermine LAM's success and following. They also acted out of bitterness because with LAM's response to Ghastly's misleading reader's poll, LAM was exposing the fact that Ghastly lied- something the massive egos at Ghastly could not tolerate - they were overheard many times saying they were out to be "THE power in the Goth scene", and would "ruin whoever [they] didn't like". They also sent a letter, still in LAM's possession, that threatens that they would create more lies should LAM respond to this attack. They actually admit to the lies in the letter and in a recorded phone conversation.

    In a phone conversation with William (Coulter) Faith (of Faith and the Muse), Sean asked him why Faith had participated in all of this, why he hadn't spoken out against Ghastly's obvious lies. Faith said he said nothing to counter their lies because "they are the press" and "you have to suck up to the press" to further your own career. So Faith admits that in exchange for lying about me he was hoping for a pay-off from Ghastly in the form of media exposure. Prior to this Faith had been sucking up to LAM, being that LAM was very popular, but when he saw an opportunity to use someone to help his band who could also help undermine his competition, that competition being London After Midnight, then Faith willfully engaged in the creation, printing and distribution of the slanderous Ghastly Crumb newsletter zine. When Sean spoke to him he had no idea Faith was involved in the production or writing of the Ghastly Crumb. As far as Sean knew Faith only helped distribute it (in that phone conversation Faith lied to Sean and claimed he "had no idea what it was" he was distributing for Ghastly). Only months later did Sean discover Faith had actually helped write and print it (again, verified by Jeremy Meza's brother in law and former LAM drummer, Douglas Call).

    Ghastly and their friends (including William Faith) printed and distributed thousands upon thousands of this 8 page newsletter. They distributed these newsletters at LAM concerts (LAM actually has video of them doing this, including shots of William Faith handing out the lie-filled pamphlet), passed them out at clubs, and mailed them around the world. In more recent history, to this day they spread outrageous rumors and lies about Sean and LAM in the goth and deathrock clubs they frequent and to anyone they meet- even spreading these lies outside of the USA to other bands, promoters, DJs, etc.

    On several occasions William Faith (of the band Faith and the Muse) has approached concert promoters around the world and lied to them about LAM in order to try and steal away concerts from LAM that the promoters were arranging. Needless to say this only backfired on Faith and the Muse because LAM is well known for being a professional band, having worked with many of these promoters already. But by spreading lies William Faith did do some damage to LAM's reputation with people unfamiliar with LAM.

    And the obvious question is "why"? Aside from Jeremy's petty jealousy and damaged ego (due to his own irresponsible behavior), we can't understand why they are so obsessed to continue with their hate campaign after all these years, [well into 2015]. LAM has a recording of a phone conversation where Jeremy admits that he lied about LAM and Sean to "fuck with [Sean]", due to Jeremy's bitterness at not being accepted as guitar player AND due to his girlfriend's bitterness towards LAM (see more about that below).

    Pathetic, isn't it? Well he was 17. Imagine Beavis and Butthead rolled into one and you have the perfect picture of Jeremy Meza. These people now frequent the club Release the Bats and other bad goth/deathrock clubs and events in the Los Angeles area. It's a very small incestuous crowd, all of whom spread the same lies about people they envy. They are people who use others to get what they want, and if they don't get what they want then they attack. I suppose I shouldn't feel singled out as these people are ALWAYS fighting with someone (often their long time friends who then turn into their enemies), but their hate campaign against me has gone on two decades. And frankly, I'm tired of it.

    Below is the essentially unedited article originally written as a response to Ghastly's first attack on LAM in 1993 (this was intended for the second issue of the LAM newsletter, The Gashlycrumb, but this version was never published until now. Instead a short response to their harassment was published in the 2nd issue of LAM's newsletter). Read on...

"A slanderer's only source of power comes from the fool who will believe accusations without proof"- Tamlyn
A Response to Ghastly's False Accusations.
by Sean Brennan (written in 1993 for issue 2 of the LAM newsletter, The Gashlycrumb)

    My character has been attacked by certain power hungry, dishonest individuals out seeking attention for themselves. As I know the real story behind their drama I feel the need to respond to their FALSE accusations and inform you of the truth.

    I know that any public figure almost invites a certain amount of instability in their lives simply by being in the public eye, but I also know that no one should have to tolerate continual abuse and lies. So with that in mind, please bear with me while I set the record straight once and for all.

    In April, 1993, Ghastly magazine/ Nosferatu Productions in association with Faith and the Muse, and members of a now defunct band Praise of Folly, wrote and distributed an 8 page newsletter called the "Ghastly Crumb" (which was a take-off on the LAM newsletter, the Gashlycrumb). Ghastly magazine's "Ghastly Crumb" was an absurd pack of lies and slander below the level of the National Enquirer or Weekly World News. They did this to get attention, to increase Ghastly's sagging sales and draw attention to Praise of Folly and William Coulter's band Faith and the Muse. The lies ranged from the absurd, like I date 12 year old girls and rape them (?!) and steal their money (yeah, those 12 year old girls are rolling in cash, right?), to things like I don't write any of my own music, to we never once filled any of our mail orders from fans. There were SO many other absurd lies, but you get the picture.

    They printed thousands of copies of this mini magazine and handed them out at our concerts (withOUT our or the club's permission), many other clubs and sent them to people through the mail throughout 1993 and 1994. They also sent them to magazines and bands around the world in an effort to blacken our name so no one would want to cover LAM in their magazines (which didn't work, by the way).

    A point I'd like you to consider is that they attacked me in PRINT, an 8 page magazine ranting and raving with lies about my personal & professional life. My concern is that people tend to think that it must be true if someone went to the trouble of writing it.

    With the printing of the Ghastly Crumb, Ghastly has taken irresponsibly and egotism to new heights. And why? Just to draw attention to themselves- as attested to by LAM's then drummer Douglas Avery [aka Douglas Call], who is married to Jeremy Meza's sister. He was an inside witness to their reasons and actions in this matter; Ghastly published this attack on me and LAM, a fairly well known band, in order to draw attention to their business, Nosferatu Productions. As sales had dropped dramatically for them this was a way they thought would draw attention to Ghastly and make them a "power" in the scene (they even threatened that if I ever denied their lies they would use Ghastly to destroy LAM and me). Also as Jeremy was replaced in the live lineup of LAM after only 2 concerts and not allowed to become a permanent live member of the band, he was very bitter towards me.

    This whole situation has been traumatic for me and I feel, as I'm sure any one of you would, the need to set the record straight. Ghastly has shown they have no concern for my privacy, or REALITY for that matter, and I feel I am well within my rights to respond to their attack even though they have threatened to spread more lies about me if I do defend myself (this threat is in the form of a recorded phone conversation with Jeremy and a letter from Ghastly). I will not resort however to the Nazi-like propaganda tactics, lies, threats of death, and childish behavior that Ghastly and associates have resorted to. I rely upon the truth.

    NOT ONE of the statements made in Ghastly's the "Ghastly Crumb" was true. And if you are skeptical then understand this, we have PROOF that EVERY SINGLE THING stated in Ghastly's the "Ghastly Crumb" was false. From copyright papers proving that I wrote every one of the songs accredited to my name, police reports of harassment (which Ghastly denied), records of our filled mail orders, to eyewitness accounts of events and tape recorded conversations with Ghastly's Jeremy Meza where he ADMITS he lied in order to get attention and take revenge! Just ask us and WE WILL PROVE IT.

    When confronted in person both Tara Bai (former Ghastly editor and now ex-girlfriend of Jeremy) and Jeremy (editor of Ghastly) admitted that everything they printed in the "Ghastly Crumb" was not true, or hearsay from "jealous people", and Tara said she printed the lies because she had heard that I had been "talking shit" about her. Of course I hadn't been. They admitted to misquoting me on purpose and fabricating events to try and make me look bad. In a conversation over the phone, which I recorded, Jeremy ADMITS that everything they printed was a lie, and they did it to "get my attention and fuck with me (snicker)". Yet they refused to print a retraction or explain to the public why they acted so immaturely.

    They have since gone into hiding [NOTE: as of mid-1997, Ghastly has resurfaced with little success and Jeremy performs with bands like Element, Faith and the Muse and others while Tara Bai abandoned Ghastly and broke up with Jeremy, began abusing heroine and eventually moved to Hawaii where she entered a drug rehab program after years of drug abuse. In 1999 she was reportedly arrested for possessing and using heroin. With Tara leaving Jeremy, Ghastly magazine, started by Ron Hexe, was now in the hands of Jeremy Meza].

    Why would they act so unprofessionally you ask? Maybe it's because, after only two shows as LAM's live guitarist, after which he was replaced for lack of commitment and talent, Jeremy held some kind of grudge against me? As for Tara's reasons- two of Tara's closest friends came to me after this ordeal and told me Tara was "in love" with me, and had been for one year. They explained that she was angered that I wasn't interested in her. They both insisted that this was the basis for her using Jeremy to bash LAM in Ghastly magazine.

    People tell me I should be flattered in a weird way that Ghastly invested so much time, energy and IMAGINATION on me. It seems the people at Ghastly think that lying and being terminally negative are the "Goth" thing to do. But I disagree.

    I have tried very hard to resolve this situation in private but have been met with attitude and abuse every step of the way by Ghastly, Faith and the Muse, etc. I asked them to print a retraction to their lies and I would let the situation drop. But as I said, they are still trying to cause trouble for me. Seeing no civil solution to the problem I consulted a lawyer who, upon seeing a copy of Ghastly's absurd "Ghastly Crumb", said I had a VERY strong libel/defamation case against Ghastly. In an effort to avoid a lawsuit I even asked Ghastly to come to our studio, bring all the people mentioned in the "Ghastly Crumb" and we would bring our proof that Ghastly's accusations were false. We would video tape the WHOLE meeting so that any outsider could watch the video and see who was telling the truth. Ghastly and friends declined.

    Gee... I wonder why they declined? Maybe because they just wanted to do some damage to my reputation when they knew they had to lie to do that damage? [NOTE: at the time, early 1993, I did not have the $4000.00 retainer required to file the lawsuit against Ghastly. If it happened now however, they'd be toast].

    Judging by the hundreds of letters and calls of support we've received it seems all of you who received Ghastly's the "Ghastly Crumb", had it mailed to you (as I shared LAM's mailing list with Ghastly when they first arrived in LA in order to get them started, so of course they mailed it to all of LAM's fans), or had it given to you by William Faith, Tara, or Jeremy in person, saw it for what it was; an embarrassing attempt by Ghastly and William (Coulter) Faith to get attention.

    I am not out to hurt people or mislead people. I am here to make music but if someone continually publicly accuses me of something of which I am innocent, I'm sure as hell not going to roll over and take it. I AM going to defend myself. I do not consider myself any better than anyone else. If I am guilty of something I will admit to it, I am an adult after all, but I am NOT guilty of anything Ghastly has accused me of. All I know is at least I have my honor, honesty, morals, professionalism and integrity intact and I'm very proud of that fact. We apologize to everyone out there for having to put up with this drama.

    If any of you saw Ghastly's "Ghastly crumb" then you have been witness something fairly unique in the Goth music scene- an organized, printed lie filled hate campaign with participants like Faith and the Muse, Ghastly magazine, etc, who's sole aim was to harm me -over petty jealousies- and financially enrich those doing the lying. How's that for integrity?

    Think about it- have any of you ever seen a situation like this in the goth scene, something so similar to supermarket tabloids? A magazine attacking someone with absurd lies, like rape, theft, etc? Remind you of the National Enquirer or Weekly World News? What will Ghastly say next? That I shot JFK? Or that I killed Elvis, or was molested by Michael Jackson? That sounds like something Ghastly would say. Seriously though, it reminds me of the paranoid ravings of McCarthy-ism or propaganda tactics; Ghastly magazine sent me letters and left phone messages DEMANDING that I do not stand up for myself or respond to them in any way, or else they would "ruin me". They think they are the gothic mafia who feel they have the right to lie and destroy people's lives for their own gain. A power so full of itself that it thinks that it has to answer to no one. [NOTE: Judging by Ghastly and associates bad luck of late, I guess they DID have to answer for what they did. In the late 90s and early 2000s Jeremy became an unemployable drug addicted loser living in his parents' garage and Tara is a criminal drug addict. We hope they overcome their hard times and realize their mistakes].

    Ghastly magazine and their friends' egos are so over-inflated that they feel they have the right to make up lies about innocent people like me and not have to answer to them - and then threaten to spread more lies if I do defend myself and tell the truth. I think that they have to answer to me - and to you.

    I'm sure you don't like being lied to, as I don't like being lied about. Remember you control the scene. You support the magazines, clubs and bands. Let your voice be heard and stand up for what is right. Remember it may be you they attack next time. Don't let the fascist mentality of these assholes mislead you and in the process manipulate and destroy the music scene that, in reality, YOU control.

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